Ecliptic Times Final Issue

Ecliptic Times:
The Life, Times, and Happenings of the Sophomores of MHS
The Final Issue
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The End Edition

Awesome Person of the Week

EDIT: APRIL FOOLS, GUYS!

Me, because I'm awesome. Duh.

Paper News. News that you can use.
With all of the pressure and stuff, I really think I'm going to shut down ET. Sorry for all of you that depend on the study guide, but this way I think is really the best. So sorry, but I've made one final issue for you! Enjoy it... or die.

School Life
Stuff happened.

I have on good authority that a zombie invasion will be happening soon. Might wanna start stockpiling food and weapons. Just saying.

You know all that money we've collected? Total, it amounts to 100$. That's a lot, but at the same time, not that much. So I don't think anyone will really mind that Ken Schlaff is stealing all the money. Yup. Only 100$.

The school is issuing a new plan to have a rally every Friday. Themes will range from the wonders of recycling to how important classroom time is. Also, they will be extended to three hours long. But instead of shortening class time, they will just make school run until 5:00.

The AP world test has been canceled due to budget cuts. Money will not be refunded.

In more of the budget cuts, students will no longer be allowed to take Summer classes. This one will probably hit the hardest, but I'm sure we can find ways to pull through.

Contests
The contest has been canceled. The winner, by default, is me. Please give all money (5$ per person) by next Friday, or the zombie invasion will "happen" to occur even earlier.

Story Time
Turns out Tower did win the contest after all! I'll be going away for a month at the end of April to tour and do book signings. See you guys when I get back!

Interview with Darryl Darkeye (round II).
Ecliptic Times: Hello, how are you?
Darryl Darkeye: Get out of my face.
ET: Let's start off with some basics. What school do you go to, and what grade are you?
DD: Are you an idiot?
ET: Excuse me?
DD: I asked you if you were an idiot.
ET: Um... no? Anyway...
DD: You don't know if you're an idiot or not? Seems idiotic to me.
ET: ANYWAY... the whole internet wants to know. Who are you?
DD: Darryl Darkeye
ET: What is your name in real life?
DD: Darryl Darkeye
ET: Moving on... what classes are you taking at MHS?
DD: Everything you're taking. The difference is that I'm a genius. You're not.
ET: Ahem. What grades do you get, and are you happy about them.
DD: Straight A's, and I never do homework. Homework is for people too stupid to cheat.
ET: What do you do in your freetime?
DD: Do you really want to know?
ET: Yes.
DD: That wasn't a question. I thought this was an interview.
ET: It is, but... well, what do you do in your free time?
DD: Lurk on the internet half of the time. The other time I sit behind you and think about stealing your soul through your eyes. It makes them bleed frozen blood.
ET: What is your favorite internet site?
DD: The place you will never mention, but know in the back of your headexists. [He said he was talking to all of you reading this - Dylan]
ET: Do you have a family?
DD: I sold their souls. Now they are just lifeless husks who do my every bidding. Win-win situation, as I see it.
ET: Is there ever a question you've always wanted to be asked in an interview?
DD: Do you give me permission to steal your soul.
ET: Well, thanks for your time. Any closing thoughts?
DD: I'll be watching you tonight. As you sleep.
ET: Finally, do you give me permission to steal your soul?
DD: Yes... wait... NOOOOO!!!! [He vanished from the room in a cloud of black smoke - Dylan]

No thanks to Darryl Darkeye. None at all.

Self-Made Graph Time
Hopefully you can read that.

http:

Green, purple, orange, red, blue (in the graph)

Rants and Raves
The last rant. Subject? YOU TERRIBLE READERS

"HEY DILAN, R U DUNING A STUDI GYDE??" "Dylian are you doing a study guidfe?" "I'm still waiting for a studey guide, dude." BLARAHLHGHLARHGOAWAYGOAWAYYESI'MDOINGTHESTUDYGUIDEJUSTCLAMEDOWNITSSOANNOYINGBALHRLGARAHLARLHLHLHAB.

Thank you.

AP World Study Guide

Not doing them any more. You're on your own for the rest of the chapters.

Closing Thoughts
It was fun while it lasted. Cya guys!

(I might start this up again next year. No promises, but keep your eyes peeled.)
fin

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"Truth is stranger than fiction": Mark Twain